I Resent Your Smile
Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going. The answer to your question is written all over my face, yet your overenthusiastic smile is telling me that you’ll be disappointed if I don’t smile. We’re a social animal. Most of us don’t like to upset the apple cart. You’re enthusiasm is an unconscious bullying tactic. You wield your exuberance like a car-jacker with a pistol. You hope to achieve the outcome you desire without consideration for my feelings. Would you sit next to someone hooked up to an EKG machine in a cancer ward as you gaze out the window with a big grin like, “hell of a day, huh? Don’t know if I’ll head to the park, toss the ball around with my Labrador or just take the boat out for a spin. You?”. Would you visit someone in prison, your Colgate smile beaming through the plexiglass partition, “looks a bit gloomy in here. I’ll bet you wish you were over at the Four Seasons judging a bikini contest like I will be at three o’ clock. What are you going to be doing later? Let me guess, defending your self?! (laughing) Get em’ first, that’s what I always say. Alright, have a good one”.
And stop asking me ‘what’s wrong’. Just because I’m not smiling, it doesn’t mean there is something personally ‘wrong’. Maybe I just see the world for what it is, and feel other people’s pain to the degree that I find your smile offensive. Right now we’re surrounded by homeless people in Lower Manhattan, and you’re in a conspicuously great mood. Maybe I should be asking you what’s wrong. These people are laying on the sidewalk, not a chaise lounge on the sun deck of a Carnival Cruise ship. Why does you’re face not care? What’s wrong with you? How would you like it if the situation were reversed? Suddenly, for purposes of this analogy, you’ve switched places with that bearded lunatic in the card board box. He becomes you, and you him. Now you’re laying on the sidewalk, and he’s standing over you. Now he’s wearing the Gabardine trousers, carelessly licking an ice cream cone like a retarded puppy, asking someone ‘what’s wrong’ because they’re not smiling like a fuckin’ wind up doll? I’m not saying don’t be happy. I’m saying don’t be too happy. It’s disrespectful.